102106

I don't want to sleep tonight for I miss you. For some reason I cannot comprehend I long to hear your voice telling me of the harshness of this world. I'm dying to see your long lost forgotten smile.

And I cannot sleep. I don't want to for tonight I miss you. And tomorrow is a promise of not remembering you. The bitter memories of the past would make me numb of your existence or used-to-be existence. And I don't want to wake up to that. I want to stay missing you. Because I know I should. And I do. I do miss you, I think I forever will. But reality really bites.

And I'll forever love you, even if you never felt the same way. I know how you preferred her over me. I know that when you were saying you pitied her, you were really wishing she was your own. And I don't want to cry over someone who didn't want me. I can do better.

Except I see your last look, the empty eyes. I remember how you reached your hand, asking me to hold it. I see the blood and I hear your labored breathing. And I can't help but cry.

more "me"

i got addicted. perfect time really. big tests tomorrow. oh well.

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What American City Are You?

haha.

You Have Low Self Esteem 72% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

emote.emote.

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

hmmm...

You are Barefoot!

You're a total free spirit, go with the flow girl You can't be restricted by shoes for very long And unsuprisingly, the same goes for men Your match is out there - and he's as carefree as you are

What Kind Of Women's Shoe Are You?

not a plebian. more like a uh, free spirited person. haha.

You Are Gonzo the Great

"Is something burning in here? Oh, it's just me." You're a total nutball who will do anything for attention. The first to take a dare, you'll pull almost any stunt. You're one weird looking creature, but your chickens don't mind!

The Muppet Personality Test

i knew it! i have ADHD. You see I was oh, a butterfly!

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

aha! it is true folks. i am the reincarnation of Confucius [minus the Chinese look]. i am indeed a pheelosoper. yup. also a speler.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are balanced, peaceful, and sincere. You're the type of person who goes along to get along. And you're definitely afraid of rocking the boat. Underneath it all, you fear your world is falling apart. You'll put up with a situation that you don't like in fear of changing it. Disruptive and forceful people intimidate you - and sometimes exploit you.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

ooh. i see.

You Are 80% Bipolar

You're more than moody - you're a bit unstable. If your mood swings are effecting your life, you may need to seek help.

Are You Bipolar?

starry starry night paint your palettes blue and grey...

Your Geek Profile:

Fashion Geekiness: High Movie Geekiness: High SciFi Geekiness: Moderate Academic Geekiness: Low Internet Geekiness: Low Music Geekiness: Low Gamer Geekiness: None Geekiness in Love: None General Geekiness: None

How Geeky Are You?

oh, gery's is on. gotta go.

quick post

so i saw potato's blogthings and i decided to post one too but with my fave color - green (what else?)! haha.

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

fly little birdie...

I saw a bird today. A little bird inside the church. I thought it was attacking people and I wanted it to attack me so I could have the chance to catch it. But all that notion vanished when it nestled on a table a few chairs in front of where I was seated. It was a little birdie. It wasn't attacking people. It was a little birdie who still didn't know how to fly well. It looked a little lost too. I found it strange that he was learning how to fly inside a church. But then, I thought, what better place?

It then went on top of the confession barrier [you know, that little wall which separates you from the priest while you tell him your deepest darkest regrets in life]. It stayed there all throughout the eucharist. I know it's bad but I couldn't take my eyes off the little birdie. I wasn't able to catch what the priest was saying because my eyes were glued and my mind was racing.

I find it fascinating that a little bird knows where to go when it feels lost and weak. Maybe he didn't really mean to go to the House of God, maybe it was all coincidence, but it's nice to think that a little bird like him knew where to go. It makes us, humans, seem more lost than he is.

I think, for what it costs, we should take a hint from that little birdie. Take a leaf from his book.

Ask guidance from the Father for only He can make us fly...

local celebrities

I am an optimist but I am also a pessimist. I see the best in people but I also see their flaws. But right now I am an optimist.

I admire a lot of people particularly celebrities. Some would think it very shallow but when you are in front of the television or in the cinemas almost all of your free time, you would know what I mean. There's Kate Beckinsale for her multilingual accent, Mery Streep for the way she speaks, Ellen Page and Miley Cyrus for their amazing achievements at such a young age, Julia Roberts for simply being the way she is [lol], Britney Spears for being alive even when almost everyone is kicking her ass, Mother Teresa of Calcutta for being able to do all the things she did while she was alive, if you knew me you would know there's more from where that came from.

But casting aside all of these glamorous and well-known people, there are also real actual can-be-touched-with-my-bare-hands-without-the-possibility-of-being-on-the-tabloids individuals whom I admire. Ever since I could remember, I've gathered up the names of the individuals who have in some way influenced who I am. I've never said it to them out loud. Of course I will never admit that, or I might if I'm intoxicated. But now I have a whole new bunch of people to add on my list and I would like to give them the proper recognition, even if they really won't be recognized. I'm sure they'll know if it was them.

• She's the epitome of royalty. As far as I know she isn't blue-blooded but you'll be surprised of how noble this girl can be. She has her own set of values and stick by them. She's well known but still knows how to mingle with the masses. I guess that's how she became well known in the first place. She's smart althougth at times she has doubts of her own capabilities. Guys of all ages admire her, and girls idolize her. It seems at first look that she has everything a girl could ask for. But hey, you'll never know.

• A person of her own. She's one who you cannot mess with. She may be strange and weird but she knows who she is, what she wants and how to get them. A person of very high intelligence, that would be her! She may look like a little kid but all of that notion would fly with the wind once you get to talk to her. She is very mature and knows mature stuff more than your average freshie. She's cute and charming. This marionette could talk for hours and you'll find yourself mesmerized by her.

• A true gentleman. He can be annoying sometimes but you can't help but notice his genuine likeness in helping people. May it be in cleaning, tests, money, he is always there for everyone. Oh, especially with papers. He is a person who is always all ears but who has his own drama to bitch. He is also a clever one. You can see him writing furiously on his notebook or listening eagerly at the teacher. He has confessed of having two sides and personally, I like this childlike side better.

• Creative, spunky and downright frank, that would be this girl. She sometimes goes along peer pressure [fyi: it's positive pressure] but it all molded her into what she is right now. Because of her stylish and cosmopolitan look people would not regard her as a devout but she is. She is also very smart although she can be sidetracked at times. She has a very bubbly personality who believes in waiting for the right moment. She's true to herself and her friends and everyone else around her.

• She has a lot of things going for her. She's the top of her class [as far as I know], close to God and very nice. I don't know her that much but what I do know of her is enough for me to admire her. She doen't let teenage pressure get to her. She doesn't conform; she looks for her own voice. A good daughter, a helpful friend and a faithful servant, what more could you ask for?

• Brain on heels. Looking for a savvy ingenious lady? This would be your girl. She's quick-witted, pretty, and very down-to-earth. If there's anyone who would not boast of her acheivements, who would just shrug off all the teases and praises people give, that would be her. She's funny and knows how to be good friend and have a good time. Very responsible too, may I add. A really good catch for all the deserving guys out there. But she's a good daughter who puts studies first.

My mind is about to burst with all the positive things I've written. It's like rewriting the freaking yearbook. Yeah, pessimism hits me again. There are more people I admire but I'm not in my right mind to write nice fluffy stuff anymore. Oh, and those local celebrities up there have flaws too but since I'm being all nice and optimistic, the good ones are what has been typed in here. Besides, they are all generally good people. They are my friends, aren't they?

**I would be adding people on this list from time to time.

What if God was one of us?

About two thosand years ago [I'm not good with facts] people were all in denial that the Mesiah has finally arrived. Except for a handful of people, they were all condemning Jesus for claiming that He is the son of God.

It is now 2008. The prophesized apocalypse did not and has not happened yet. But things have happened, like the super typhoons, destruction of the Twin Towers, global warming, the list goes on. We might feel at times that God isn't around, that He's just some fictitious character created by mankind to hide a deep secret. If this is the case, how can we explain us being here right now at this moment? Science may have logical explanations but what governs science? Wouldn't you feel empty to realize that this is all there is to living? That what we have right now is all we have and that there's nothing more? Wouldn't that make our lives here on Earth meaningless?

The wrong person was nailed on the cross. They say it saved humanity. This heroic act is written in the bible, it's in the prayers, it'a all but voiced out almost all the days of our lives and you would think people would be more careful from then on. But they still walk on the street like they own it, like there's no greter deity than they. But what if Jesus is yet again walking the same street you walk on to? What if He is that old man who smiled at you or that little girl with those bright eyes looking at everything around her? What if He's the beggar on the side of the street or the rich lady teeming with jewelry inside her ritzy Mercedez?

We'll never know, would we? But that doesn't mean we should just let what happened two thousand years ago happen again. History shouldn't repeat itself especially not this history. So I say be kind to everyone you meet. Be genuine all the time [well, not all the time 'coz there are times that we have to put a face for the best of things]. But what I'm trying to say is God works in mysterious ways so it's better if we just try to be nice and helpful to all our brothers and sisters and do our best in all the things we do since we don't know what goes on in His mind. And since it's what He wants us to do, to be.

God may be amongst us, or He may be all of us. After all, God is in everything He made.